Not Feeling Great

I'm not feeling great this week about my progress.  Weigh in day is tomorrow and for the first time this challenge I'm dreading it!

I know I have lost some weight (yes I've cheated and already jumped on the scales).  But I have had such a great loss (4kgs in the first 3 weeks) that I am quite disappointed with the 500 grams I have lost so far this week.  I can't see losing too much by tomorrow.

Then I have the fitness test tomorrow too, the 1km run and all the rest of it.  I know I have not been exercising any where near as much as I should.  Once my stitches come out tomorrow I will step the exercise up.  I have been sticking to the 1200 calories a day.  I have stuck largely to the menu plan, but with things like satay on the menu this week, as someone with an anaphylactic reaction to peanuts and other nuts, I'm going to steer clear of those dishes this week and have other meals from the 12wbt recipe index instead.

I am determined to lose this weight and I am determined to reach my goal of 12kgs for this 12 week challenge.  I just have to get myself out of this negative head space that has crept in this week.  I do snap out of it, but then it creeps back the next day.

Onwards and upwards (or downwards is the way I want the weight to go).

My Mind Games

I don't know how anyone else feels but sometimes, I do have negitive thoughts creeping in to this overactive mind of mine from time to time.  I do try to move past those thoughts as quickly as I can as I am generally a positive person.  I will hop on Pinterest and look at and repost positive and inspirational quotes and photos.  For those that follow me on Pinterest, I have just released my little secret...  when you see me on a reposting frenzy you will know I'm having a moment of mind games going on in my head.  I will look for others who have done it, to remind me this is possible, pop onto the 12wbt forums.

I do definitely believe this whole thing, weight issues, is a mind issue.  It's all a mind game.   I do wonder how I got here.  For 3/4's of my life I did not have a weight problem.  I exercised, played tennis, swam, skied, gym sometimes, would walk for miles.  I ate what I wanted I guess, I don't ever remember being hungry.  I'm trying to think back, how I was just 12 years ago, how I thought back then, what and why I changed, from habits I had for 30 years and how these new habits formed.   How did I get in this place and find it so hard to get out of it?  What happened in my mind that snapped into a different mindset? Such a self destructive mindset.   I really don't understand how for 30 years I had never been overweight and now I am, 12 years later!  I look at the fact I still have 20kgs to lose to get to my goal weight.  It seems so far away.  But then I have to snap out of that and not look that far ahead, just look at my goal for this challenge... 12kg, of which I have lost 4kg already.

I was looking at the most amazing, inspirational life changes the other day.  Have a look at Dee and Jayne (links are below).  Their journey, their transformations are just incredible.  The work these girls have done.  Have a look, you will be inspired.  You can not, not be inspired by these ladies.
Dee's Journey   https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dee12wbt/310565212311182
Jaynes Journey https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jaynes-12wbt/145857622173214

I look at their transformations and think how they must feel now, how proud they would be of themselves.  How proud they would be of all the work they have done to transformation their bodies, their minds and their lifestyle.   How proud their families would be of them for their amazing transformation after watching all of their hard work.  I want to feel like that.  It also makes me think... Did they feel like I do now?  They were at the beginning of their journey not so long ago, they were looking at others inspirational journeys knowing that one day that would be them.  Did Dee or Jayne ever have those moments where they thought they may not make it?  I look at Dee's before shot and that could be me now.  I really hope that I can be proud of myself one day very soon, like they would be now.  I hope that I will be able to one day inspire others like they do.  I hope that one day I can have people look at my journey and my success and make them keep going, just like those ladies do.

Dee and Jaynes journeys' were for themselves, to have a longer, happier and healthier life.  I wonder if Dee and Jayne realise just how much they do for others, by embarking on their journey.  When they started out like I am and many others are right now, did they know that their journey would be helping others change their lives.  Because they are.  I look at Dee's photo, the one with her before photo and the others along the way and I so want that for me.  I am so proud of those ladies for what they have done and I don't even know them.

I want to thank Dee and Jayne.  I want them to know that by changing their life they are helping others change theirs.  Thank you Dee and Jayne for helping me.   When I am having a weak moment I do look at your journey's and you do make me think, I can do this!  Thanks Ladies!